Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of good.
I used to agree with this statement that’s attributed to Voltaire. I thought good was a better goal to aim for. After all, perfection isn’t attainable.
Even so, perfectionism has been my companion for most of my adult life.
It’s been a way to protect myself from harm and to hide myself away.
The perfectionist part of me believes if I toil long enough and get all of the details right, people will like and accept me and my work.
The perfectionist part of me also conspires with my inner critic, also known as my safety instinct. They both hope that I will spin my wheels perfecting and polishing instead of doing the actual thing, sharing the thing I’m working on, etc.
When you spend your time and energy on polishing and perfecting, you don’t actually have the time and energy you need to move forward with the dream or calling inside of you.
I liken it to our culture’s obsession with how we look or improving our houses or how we parent our children or pretty much anything else we obsess about.
If we weren’t focused on fixing our appearance, or on having the perfect house, or on having the perfect child, or the rest of it, what might we spend our time and energy on?
What might we do? Transform? Say? Create?
In my humble opinion, there’s a long history of patriarchy behind our obsessions and distractions. Our sense of not being enough was planted a long time ago, and that seed was watered—and continues to be watered—by a culture crafted by men in power who do not want to share their power.
How does this connect to the relationship between the truth and the good?
I no longer believe the goal is to aim for good.
I now believe we need to share our truth and not to be concerned with whether or not it is good.
The truth—our truth and its many forms—is sacred.
It’s not for us or anyone else to judge whether or not it is good.
It’s enough for us to share it. Its purpose is to be spoken, or written, or created—and shared.
How others perceive it is none of our business. Our business is to listen to the call inside of us and go to forth.
I wrote briefly about truth before good at the end of a recent post I wrote about Holding My Own Hand. I’d read a blog post that opened my eyes to this concept. It wasn’t the primary theme of the blog, but it’s what stuck with me.
It’s what I needed to hear at that moment. And, it’s what I need to keep remembering every day when my perfectionistic part and my inner critic conspire to keep me quiet and small and safe.
I’m grateful to those parts for trying to keep me safe, and I need other parts and values—creativity, leadership, self-expression, service—to lead me instead.
A few days after I read the initial blog post, it hit me that this idea of truth before good could help me to get the rest of my podcast episodes out into the world.
Because, I’ve been toiling and polishing and perfecting and holding myself to unreasonable standards.
The truth is, I started the What About Hope podcast—then called Elevating You—with the idea that I would record conversations, add an intro and outro to them, and publish them as intact conversations.
I was on the side of the truth from the beginning, not endless editing to remove most of the “ums,” “you knows,” “likes,” that were a part of these conversations.
I wanted the podcast to be easy, fun, and authentic.
There’s nothing authentic about prettying up how we talk.
I adopted a standard that was given to me by the person who taught me how to edit podcasts. I was grateful for the guidance from a seasoned professional.
And, I regret not sticking with my truth—my value of honesty—and moving forward.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have embraced the idea of truth over good if I hadn’t spent the last two years hanging out on the polishing and perfecting end of the spectrum.
Regardless, I’m moving forward with the podcast with truth over good as my mantra.
Katrina Sather, my podcast collaborator, is good with that, so starting with episode 6, you’ll hear the true, unedited versions of the conversations. I edited Episode 5, but toward the end, I left in more of our filler words. It will be released this week if all goes as planned.
Because I’m no longer doing big edits of podcast episodes, it means they will get to be released into the world.
My perfectionist part and my inner critic aren’t happy, but the rest of me is delighted and feels the freedom that goes along with sharing my truth by just being me. Not good, not perfect, just me and my truth. And, I think that’s enough.
Coaching and the truth before the good
Reaching for the good and the perfect keeps me playing small and prevents me from being of service.
I’m taking a step to let the truth lead me with my coaching work as well.
It’s easy for me to hide with coaching.
Coaching is a trip into the unknown where the truth of the moment is all that matters. Therefore, it can be scary. You have to let go of yourself, all expectations, and the desire to make the session good.
Instead, what matters is being present and setting aside your inner chatter in service of another human. What matters is helping them to discover their own truth.
The coach holds space while creating a loving container. But, they aren’t the focus. The focus is on the client, how they relate to the issue they’re bringing, and finding out in real time what helps them to tap into their wisdom, power, and possibility around that issue.
I want to help more people access their own truth via coaching, so I’m doing two things.
First, I’m giving a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to all paid annual What About Hope newsletter subscribers.
Second, I’m offering donation-based coaching here and through the What About Hope Meetup group.
I don’t want finances to be a barrier, so if the donation amounts I suggest don’t work for you, hit reply and let me know what would work for you.
If you want to get started with coaching, hit reply to get your questions answered.
Similarly, if you know of someone who’s in transition in life, or feels stuck, or wants to gain clarity—and their agency—around an issue in their life, please share this with them.
In the spirit of truth, it will take me a few days to update the Meetup Group, my website, and the membership here in Substack. But, it will happen soon.
I hope you also feel called to share your truth and to let go of pursuing the good. I think you’ll like what you discover.
In service of the truth,
Joanna
Joanna Zaremba is a multi-passionate coach, yoga teacher, nature lover, mama, partner, writer and more. To find out more about her and her work, please visit: www.joannazaremba.com. To join her online and in person meetup group, also called What About Hope, visit: www.meetup.com/whatabouthope.